Forever a Solo? NOT!!

Since July I have been taking violin lessons. 

The more I practice, the more people ask me when I am going to play with the Worship Team at our church. It would be a great honor to do so...yet, I've always worried that I would play a note, or notes and throw everyone off....not bringing glory to God.  So I've kept quiet...and will continue to do so until the Holy Spirit opens the doors.

Even with my music teacher I tremble when I play, with a thousand emotions rushing through me: overjoyed to be playing with him, embarrassed that I sound the way I do, feeling confidence build with each lesson, upset with myself for not practicing the "right" way....just to name a few....

So, when our Pastor....who's also our Worship Leader, has talked about music, there's always been some excuse that I "skate" around...as to why I'm not ready to play.

But yesterday, at Bible Study...I brought my violin and music....determined to play the music our Pastor gave me to practice before I knew I was going to be out of town during the performance.  I felt it would be a beautiful way to celebrate Christmas with my classmates :)

However, the Pastor was downstairs getting things ready for something...probably a rehearsal or something....he found out that I had the music he gave me and asked to run through it right then.

GULP!!! :)  Wowzers!!!  I set my violin down and asked, "You want to practice now?" 

"Yes," he replied with a smile, sitting down at the piano with the music I just handed him...running his hands across the keys.

I tried to take deep breaths in and out as I focused on the notes.....we played through 4 pages of music together as I listened to the piano dance around my rusty violin....but for playing together for the first time, it sounded good!  And my playing didn't mess him up!

My classmates so enjoyed the music too :)

How often have I thought this way in Life?  How many opportunities have I missed because I was too afraid to trust God to play through the music?

Tempo

As I have written about in previous posts, I've been learning how to play the violin.  Last Tuesday when I met with my instructor, I was excited to show him the music I had ordered through the mail, of which I was practicing since our last lesson.  Two of the songs, "Danny Boy" & "An Irish Lullaby", my Dad had sang and whistled through the years.  It was a delight to play them now...though I would have love to see his expressions.

So when my teacher and I played through them once...I was happy that I was doing well to keep up....he was following my lead...instead of me struggling to follow his.

Yet, when we were finished, after he complimented me on doing well practicing...he asked me to listen to him play. 

Full of myself, I tuned my ears only to hear him play much slower and with much vibratto.  I began to melt, for this is how I remember my Dad singing it, whistling it.  When he finished, my confession was that while I practiced at home, I felt like I was a wind up music box going for the next round....very mechanical.  But now I would slow down.  My instructor chuckled.  I love music boxes....but I want the music to flow...not wind down.

In the same way, There are so many times I rush through my day, "Playing" the music my Father has for me.  But I wonder if it's like the violin music; would my lifesong God gave me be sweeter, if I slowed down?