Forever a Solo? NOT!!

Since July I have been taking violin lessons. 

The more I practice, the more people ask me when I am going to play with the Worship Team at our church. It would be a great honor to do so...yet, I've always worried that I would play a note, or notes and throw everyone off....not bringing glory to God.  So I've kept quiet...and will continue to do so until the Holy Spirit opens the doors.

Even with my music teacher I tremble when I play, with a thousand emotions rushing through me: overjoyed to be playing with him, embarrassed that I sound the way I do, feeling confidence build with each lesson, upset with myself for not practicing the "right" way....just to name a few....

So, when our Pastor....who's also our Worship Leader, has talked about music, there's always been some excuse that I "skate" around...as to why I'm not ready to play.

But yesterday, at Bible Study...I brought my violin and music....determined to play the music our Pastor gave me to practice before I knew I was going to be out of town during the performance.  I felt it would be a beautiful way to celebrate Christmas with my classmates :)

However, the Pastor was downstairs getting things ready for something...probably a rehearsal or something....he found out that I had the music he gave me and asked to run through it right then.

GULP!!! :)  Wowzers!!!  I set my violin down and asked, "You want to practice now?" 

"Yes," he replied with a smile, sitting down at the piano with the music I just handed him...running his hands across the keys.

I tried to take deep breaths in and out as I focused on the notes.....we played through 4 pages of music together as I listened to the piano dance around my rusty violin....but for playing together for the first time, it sounded good!  And my playing didn't mess him up!

My classmates so enjoyed the music too :)

How often have I thought this way in Life?  How many opportunities have I missed because I was too afraid to trust God to play through the music?

Tempo

As I have written about in previous posts, I've been learning how to play the violin.  Last Tuesday when I met with my instructor, I was excited to show him the music I had ordered through the mail, of which I was practicing since our last lesson.  Two of the songs, "Danny Boy" & "An Irish Lullaby", my Dad had sang and whistled through the years.  It was a delight to play them now...though I would have love to see his expressions.

So when my teacher and I played through them once...I was happy that I was doing well to keep up....he was following my lead...instead of me struggling to follow his.

Yet, when we were finished, after he complimented me on doing well practicing...he asked me to listen to him play. 

Full of myself, I tuned my ears only to hear him play much slower and with much vibratto.  I began to melt, for this is how I remember my Dad singing it, whistling it.  When he finished, my confession was that while I practiced at home, I felt like I was a wind up music box going for the next round....very mechanical.  But now I would slow down.  My instructor chuckled.  I love music boxes....but I want the music to flow...not wind down.

In the same way, There are so many times I rush through my day, "Playing" the music my Father has for me.  But I wonder if it's like the violin music; would my lifesong God gave me be sweeter, if I slowed down? 

Do You See What I See?

There is one thing I cannot leave home without and that's my pair of glasses.  Actually I can't do much around the house without them.  It's even marked on my driver's license that I must have them while driving. 

Without them, my vision can be compared to how it looks like at twilight...kind of slurred together.  I don't like driving at that time very much because I feel like I'm just about blind and going to hit something....because at twilight....my car lights are basically ignored....they don't have that great of impact on the environment.

A few years ago I was blessed with a pair of hand-held binoculars.  What a treasure as I LOVE the outdoors!!  To see things up-close and in fine detail too!!  Makes me melt!!  Yet, I've not used them as much as I would like.  Even with my passion for wildlife, my schedule hasn't allowed me very much time to enjoy this pleasure.

Ok...well, maybe the FACT is that I need to be more aggressive and MAKE time to enjoy what I love!

This morning when my nose was being nipped by the chilled air, I thought it best to put a bungie loaf out for the squirrels and fill the bird feeders.  Normally when I do this....it's been a while since I've put something out there so the "change" keeps them cautiously away for a while. 

It was when I started to do dishes that I noticed a white bellied bird pecking furiously away every few seconds or so at the squirrel's bungie loaf!  Even with my glasses it was difficult to see the detail from the kitchen...then I remembered the binoculars.  Quickly I went to my purse (they are kept there for when I have moments like this....where ever I am.....I will have them with me) and pulled them out....leaving the black chord wrapped around the middle.

UGH!  I thought as I tried to look through them with my glasses on....I've always thought I would be able to see better this way....but my glasses always get in the way.  So I took them off and walked over to the kitchen sink that was just below the window.  Trying not to panic, I pressed the binoculars against my eyes and felt for the adjustment knob as I moved my view around.  There it was; the bungie loaf....and the white bellied bird with dark wings still pecking away.

I leaned against my kitchen counter still focused on the wildlife and studied the detail of the bird.  It was so close, I could almost touch it...it looked sooo soft!!  It must be a breed of wood pecker.....then it darted away......I could stay here all day!!!!

In the same way.....God has blessed me with two eyes.....that work with my mind and emotions to analyze my thoughts...how I feel about something....and in result I will respond, one way or another.  I'm going to parallel it to me not wearing my glasses...or even when I do wear them.

Yet, it is when I'm being "still", taking the time to read my Bible and pray....having a time of praise....this is when I am picking up His Binaculars....when He fine tunes my "vision"......I can "see" with my heart sooo much more.

There are those times when I want to "keep my glasses on" and look through my King's Binoculars....this might be through rushing, rushing, rushing.....and I don't see a whole lot this way.  I must take my "glasses" or "way of thinking" off and look through His eyes.   And looking through His eyes requires desire and obedience.....I don't have to.....I may not want to "dig in my purse, set my glasses down, unwrap the chord..." for that all takes time......but it is soooooooooooooooooooo worth what I see on the other side of His Binoculars when I get close, press in and look around.

Knock, Knock?

This morning I was standing in front of the bathroom sink, curling my hair as I prepared for an appointment.  I happened to look down at the closed door....and reaching through the small space between the door and the floor was this white paw.  My assumption is that it was trying to swat the toy mouse less than an inch away from its reach....so I stepped close and "bunted" the furry object closer, to which it was smacked back my direction.

At other times, our black cat will wave a paw through the space to let me know she's there...I'm sure to get me to open the door...usually I shoot a hair band at the door just above where she's pulled her paw back out of site to wait a moment or two...then with claws extended, she thrusts her paw back out to capture the rubber band and rake it in.

These precious animals love the bathroom; with the shower curtain drawn, our black cat will jump in the tub and wait for me to sling a hair band up over the metal bar...and drop down for her to take prisoner! There have also been those times when the shower curtains drawn I'll peek through the waves of material and see if I can spot where they might be.  "I can see you!" I'll whisper, thinking that I'm just looking at the tail....which moves just a bit...."I'm going to get you" I slowly announce, getting ready to tag my "opponent".  But with quick reflex response this massive fur ball comes rushing up that tunnel created by the shower curtain, with eyes focused directly on mine and tags my fingers!!   I gasp and laugh :)  The bathroom sink is a nice cool "bed" to relax in while I put on my makeup....and with the heater at the base of the wall, it's a popular site to find them!  The cats love spending time with me :)

In the same way...the Light creates curiosity in me.  I know the light reveals Who is in the Room...Who is preparing.....  I am so thankful Christ wants to spend time with me..with each of us!!  Yet there is soooooooooo much more in that Room than there is in my bathroom.  And just like my kittens who are drawn to the heat register by the door, I want to be filled with God's heat so that when I enter those cold seasons in life...as winter is approaching....I will be prepared for the bitter chill...I pray that I will be able to share His Warmth with others.....as others have brought This Heat to me.  May this flame ignite Passion and Compassion....Strength and Healing....Wisdom and Truth!

Let it snow!! Let it snow!! Let it snow!!

Snowflakes are amazing....each has its own intricate design and possibly it's own dance it does while gliding down through the air. By themselves they bring beauty to the air and can be caught on the tip of tongues.  But when they start gathering, things are "painted" white either with a thin sheet, or a thick blanket.  Some people love to scoop them up in their hands, creating snow balls to be thrown...while others love laying on top, moving their arms and legs to create snow angels.  Together they have been, are being and will be used for making igloos...a shelter from the elements.

But I know there are times when there are so many of them....they make driving almost impossible, dangerous.  When they melt, if the temperature is right...things get slippery.

Winter's just beginning...so....let's just focus on how the snow leads people to sip hot chocolate, or apple cider....when snowflakes signal that Christmas is coming...a time of celebration!

In the same way....people are so much like snowflakes...each one created uniquely. With this in mind, Tuesday...as I was traveling to my violin lesson...I started thinking about  people. 

It started with my dear friend....a snowflake....who, when we met at a coffee company, excitedly shared how she just started taking these Christian Education Classes through the internet...she chattered on and on about the plan she had as I longed for that encouragement...but clung to my fear.  Days, maybe weeks passed until I caught that hope and am now currently on my third book. It was quite timely as soon afterward certain events in my life stormed forward....I'm so glad I had this class to hold me accountable....lest I would have been crushed under trials weights!

Then, to honor my Dad who's now with Christ and to honor my Mom too, I picked up the violin, after I don't know how many years, determined to learn as much as I could....until, one of my strings popped! No worries though because of another "snowflake" in my life who took my violin to be repaired (I don't know how to change my own strings).

That's when my violin teacher, another awesome "snowflake", asked my hubby if he played violin...to which he explained that it was mine..."would she like to have lessons?" Oh yes she would!

Ok....there came a time while I was practicing......that I thought..."why am I doing this?  I am sounding so much better than when I first started...but, why?  Am I only here to entertain myself?"  Momentarily I hated myself...as much as I love playing...as much as I love classical music.....it was as if I was beginning to melt and become a frozen patch of ice!  NO!!

Well, with the class I am taking the requirements had changed and we were no longer required to write papers....to hide behind them....but we were required to create a ministry to where we get involved with people...an ongoing ministry....and apply what we learn from the books to this ministry.  I've always wanted to be a part of visitation.....and on the list of ideas was visiting people who aren't able to get out and about.  My friend who started me with this class and now facilitates it suggested that I do this one.  I WANTED to do this....but the fear of the unknown held me still.

God knew this....so He sailed another "snowflake" into my life who's precious wife is now living in a nursing home.  I asked him when the best time to go visit her would be because I want to play my violin for her.....earlier I had played it for other dear friends and I thought she would so enjoy hearing me play.  "Oh, she would, but so would everyone else!  Why don't you call the Activities Director and set up a time with him?" 

GULP!!

But I seen the excitement in his eyes....how could I refuse?  So that afternoon, I called a bunch of different numbers and set up some times to go play at various places.  I wish a dear friend, and "snowflake" who plays the violin was here to play with me!!!

I felt the Lord tugging on my shoulder.  "You need someone to go with you." The Lord must have heard my thoughts.  He was right...I so wanted someone to go with me to encourage me. "Take this person" another "snowflake", I heard my heart being spoken to.  Peace filled me as I thought about how this individual will help bring me comfort as I play and will help her get out and about.  She said yes, with zest!!  WOW!!

But even before these snow flakes began to fall, I must give credit to two special "Snowflakes"; my parents....who insisted I take after my Grandpa and learn how to play the violin in 4th grade....who made sure I practiced every day...even when I didn't want to...even when I angrily played "Mary Had a Little Lamb"....

The Lamb Who is the Grandest "snowflake" of all...the reason I'm learning to play "It Is Well With My Soul"...

So like I said, on the way to my lesson, I was thinking about people.  If all these "snowflakes" told God they weren't going to fall...that they weren't going to trust Him where He would guide them, I wouldn't be a "snowflake" in someone elses life....."Let it snow!! Let it snow!! Let it snow!!"

Take time to listen

You know the other day I was thinking about the violin....how it's so very different from the guitar or any other instrument, really.  See, a guitar has these bars across it's neck and a violin doesn't. 

I asked my violin teacher why this is and his reply was "the bars help the guitarist know where the notes are and a violin is an instrument you have to train your ear to hear where the sound is. It really is a beautiful instrument."  It can also be added to what he said is that along with the listening....the feeling where my finger positions are...how my hand is positioned against the neck of the violin.  A being aware of my surroundings.

I so commend the guitarist for playing!!  I think the frets make it more difficult for the fingers...one has to have a stronger hand as I believe the frets add a resistance against pressing the string down. I've tried it....and I'm staying with the violin :)

A piano, the player must use both their hands to create the notes....and play possibly ten notes at once!!!  I don't think the violin is able to do that :)  Again, I've tried it....and to me, it's like learning to drive a stick shift.....it would take a LONG time to get my mind to coordinate each hand to do what it was supposed to.  Pulling the bow across the strings is much easier to me.

There are sooooo many other instruments out there....ones I haven't tried to play....but they are all so very important!  Even the garbage cans are now an instrument!!  They are fun to listen to!!  Each instrument makes music.  Together they are an orchestra!!  Can you imagine if there was only one instrument and could only play one sound?  Ugck!!

In the same way, I praise God for our differences!! And the fact that there are Zillions more different people through life than there will ever be instruments. And each one of them has been, are, and will be different :)
All I have to say right now is "Let's make some MUSIC!"

Warning Signs

As I have posted in earlier blogs, I attend a violin class.  My desire is that as I play unto the Lord the sound will make a person melt as they enjoy listening to each note....like I do when my violin teacher plays. Each lesson is quite difficult as this dear friend plays with me, to get me accustomed to the sounds, tempos and techniques. There have been a few times he's asked me if I wanted to play alone...because each student has a preference.  "No," I almost beg....for to remove this treasure would be too devastating.  So God is giving me the strength to concentrate on the lesson and not give in to the desire to just sit and enjoy hearing him play.

But there's sooo much I have to learn!  Like I've got to let go of my pride!!  When I first started lessons...I was quite obedient to mark up my lesson books with highlighters and other pens to help me see what I was supposed to be playing, until I became used to playing without the marking.  I thought enough time had passed for me to attempt to play without the markings....and it was soooo exhilarating!!  I was so excited that I was learning!!!  So we continued on...

And so did life....adding different responsibilities too..

The book that I'm learning from has pale orange rectangles that let the reader know that it's something the student needs to learn, a "warning sign" if  I may.  I have read them....but....the scales, arpeggios and samples of songs were sooo much more appealing to "read".

So when I came to the Key's of the Major's and Minors....I would just glance at the pictures...thinking how is this supposed to help me, I'm just not getting it...not taking the time to read them (the first step to getting help is admitting :).  It was almost like another language....where repetition is one of the things that help a student learn.  My focus was more on the "fun" stuff.

Yet...without learning the "language" of the Keys.....I was beginning to sound...... "ishy" (it's the word that comes to my mind).  My teacher is so patient with me and always compliments me on readjusting my fingers to meet the sound as we play through the scales, arpeggios and songs....but I would get sooooooo frustrated.  SOMETHING was wrong!!!! 

Then God showed me in my determination to learn the keys that the answer was there all along.  Before I heard His leading....I searched the store where my lesson takes place, and online...picking up a book at each place (just 2), hoping it had what I wanted.  The books that were ordered and bought will be quite helpful....but....

all I had to do was see the orange rectangular boxes....the warning signs.....and take extra caution to learn what was being taught.  Praise God for second chances!!

In the same way....I have to ask myself, "what are the warning signs in my life?  Am I seeing them?"  I know one warning is a small pain I get in my back when I'm doing too much.....I'll carry in heavy bags of groceries...or even if there are a lot and I don't want to make the extra trips....I'll gang them all together ....love those plastic bags and their handles for this purpose....though it weighs a lot, I think to myself, it's only one trip. WHY do I want to do things faster?  Taking the time to enjoy life...hearing every sound of life with my heart and my ears makes my heart melt...unlike pushing forward and rushing.

Removing that treasure of listening has been devastating....it makes me confused, worried and grouchy...things God doesn't want in my life...nor does anyone else.  God give me strength to obey all the caution signs that way my life can be sweet melting music that brings peace....

Twilight

Last night, as I was waiting for my class to start, I stared out the glass doors waiting for everyone to arrive.  The sun was setting and cars drove by with their lights on....it was twilight....where things were kind of a dull color.

Suddenly, I saw a flicker.  Then in one quick moment, the light of this sign stayed on. 

"Cool!"  I thought, for I've rarely gotten to see light signs just come on...usually someone has to flip a switch...but this one was set to turn on when the sun was setting.

It got me to thinking that in the same way I am like a sign.  During the day, everyone can see who I am.  Yet when night comes....when trials dull the colors of life....what type of sign am I?  Am I just a  painted sign that everyone can see during the day...one that is bright and perhaps fancy...yet, is hidden in the dark?  Or am I a florescent sign...letting everyone know?

The other day I had set  my violin down in it's open case for a moment because my oven timer was going off. A dear friend had given me a most excellent recipe for apple dumplings and now was the time to see if I was paying attention to her guidance.

As I pulled this dessert out of the oven, I began to hear a noise in the other room.  After setting down the 9x13 pan on top of the stove, I joined my older son in the living room, where he had my violin propped up on his shoulder...pulling the bow across the strings.

"Would you like me to teach you a song?" I readjusted my sheet music.

"Sure," he replied.

"Ok, put two fingers on the 'a' string and then two fingers on the 'd' string," I instructed, watching him move his hand into various positions.

"Nah, it's a lot harder than I thought", he said, handing me the instrument.

It made me proud that he was doing an awesome job trying.

In the same way....I have seen what God is doing in other peoples lives and wanted to do the same.  One example is that there are those friends who have a ministry of visiting people....to take them joy, invest in their lives.  Such a beautiful thing cannot be bought or taken away...only grown.

So many times I have tried...and perhaps it might be thought to be something that ya just get out there and do it....but I was so shy....I would want to do this...and I would ask people when I could come visit...yet, something would always hinder me from following through....a "Nah, it's a lot harder than I thought" moment.

But God didn't give up on me....I've been taking a course through Global University that requires us to get involved in others lives as an assignment.  So since I've been taking violin lessons I thought it would be a beautiful way to give back what God's given me....a following in the footsteps of those God's brought into my life.....to hear His music playing.

May God's instrument not be set back down...

Thumbs Up!

The other night my hubby and I were on our way home and we were talking about seeing a dear friend at the THRIVE conference (If you are able to go to one, PLEASE DO! THEY ARE MOST AWESOMELY VERY ENCOURAGING!!!). This friend was saying that he needed to meet with my hubby becasue my hubby's moustache is almost as white as his.  My hubby was wondering why his hair wasn't streaked white like his moustache.

I told him that his moustache is right in front of his face so he could see it much better when he looks in the mirror...and I showed him how this would be: He sees his moustache, but when he turns his head to the side to see the color of his hair, his eyes are limited to the rest of his head...so he can't see the sides or the back. "I can't see the back of my head!!" I said.

He laughed and said that he's thinking about shaving his head, as he ran his hands through his hair, focusing on driving.

"I love my great big hairy thumb," I said.

He laughed again, this time smiling.

"You know sweetheart," I continued, "with all the fingers on the hand, God's created only one thumb.  It's a leader.  It can easily touch all the fingers lives, where the other fingers have to have to twist and bend in ways that aren't exactly natural to them."

"Two thumbs up!" He said.

"Yes, and together the hands lifted up give God praise!"

In the same way, at times, my "vision" of myself gets distorted....my eyes can't see the whole picture.  But I praise God that He's created us uniquely to encourage each other: some to be toes, some to be belly buttons, some to be ears, some to be mouths, some to be knees, some to be noses....and some to be thumbs. 

"Are You Comfortable Doing That?"

On Wednesdays at our church, I teach a group of girls.  Tonight we were learning about the Missionettes Code which follows Philippians 4:8.  We were discussing "whatever things are true and whatever things are right."  There is a repetition there...true and right are basically the same...and when things are repeated, that means they are very important.

I gave the girls an example; if someone were to say that I was ugly, I told them that I would probably think about it and think about it....beginning to get sad.  I told them that thinking about being ugly was a lie.  I told them that the Bible says that we are created in God's image, we are made beautiful.  God wants us to be strong and bold and share Christ with others....I danced about just a bit...and one of the girls (they are kindergarteners) asked if I was comfortable doing that.  I asked her what she meant.  She said, "dancing like that."  I told her, "not normally around people".

It's a good point this precious child made; I'm so used to dragging my feet and living a "secure" life...not living the way I so want to inside; boldly, in Freedom, with Joy and Peace!!

In the Same way...am I more comfortable believing the lies...that I'm ugly...that I can't do this or that...that I am nothing...that I'm silly...

Or am I going to be comfortable Praising God for creating me in His image, filling me with confidence and strength and Joy...Wisdom and Love....taking me places I've never been...helping me to bring life where hope is extinct?

Whatsoever things are True, Whatsoever things are Right....think on these things. Am I comfortable?

Forgiven

Ok....Ok....Ok....I did it.  After ladies Bible Study, when I got home, I signed back up on Facebook. 

I know I wrote about how Facebook and I needed to part ways. This time I am going to try to maintain a healthy relationship with Facebook.  After all, it wasn't Facebook's fault that my computer was turned upside down. It was my own opening up of the email that shouldn't have been opened up.

You may be wondering why I signed back up.....I miss the people on Facebook...I miss being involved in their lives...I miss knowing what/who to pray for....I miss being connected....I'm so glad I'm back. 

There are boundaries that I've put into place under their privacy policy so to guard myself..and those that are in my address book.

Yep I'm glad to be back : )

In the same way...there have been times when I have turned away from God...totally just turned my back on Him...ignored Him.  One could say that He was to blame for the things that have happened in my past....after all, it's His creation.

But like Facebook being this huge......Facebook.....that doesn't mean it creates viruses and plans for our facebook demise.  There are individuals out there, whom I"m praying for, that for whatever reason...find delight in this alone.

When my Facebook crashed....my hubby went on my facebook site and announced my separation from it and posted my email for people to contact me.  The first one to contact me was Facebook, stating in the subject line how to get back on to facebook.  I must say, I was so upset, I trashed the email...I didn't even want to open it.

Last night, I opened up a new account....not even looking back at the old one.

God is the same way....waiting for us....wanting to guide us and assist us back into a relationship with Him.  He wants us to set boundaries in our lives...that's why He's given us His Word....His Map.....His "Owner's Manuel" if I may....

I soooooo love being connected <3

Comfort Food

Last night I met with some friends for a Ladies Bible Study at a local coffee company. Every week we order something to sip on while we dive into God's Word.  This week I ordered a large Pom-a-Mango Smoothie.

A little while later, I took a long sip...enjoying the taste....taking note of where it might be in my body; my tummy.  I wondered how I would feel...what nutrients were in there....or if it were all sugar.  The semi full feeling never really registered all the other times I've ordered a treat there.  I was so involved in everything else; discussion, people passing through, orders being taken from other customers, dishes being moved about, wooden chairs sliding across the tile floor.  I really wasn't paying attention all the time. But this time the hunger pains were forced to leave, my worries were forgotten and my body was given energy.

You may be wondering where I'm going with this.  There is a beautiful parallel here, because....

In the same way I go through life occupying my time with things that keep me busy.  All these things that I give my time to are so very valuable and important to me.  Yet, when I am taking time out of my day to feast, or just sip on God's word...it's a filling....it's satisfying me in ways nothing else compares. 

Just as I need to eat to fuel my body to keep going to complete the tasks required of the day.....I also need these meals to sustain me and empower me for whatever God leads me through.  I don't know what lies ahead...I just know that I will need fuel for the Journey; comfort food to carry me through my crossings.

Lessons

In an earlier blog post, I had written about taking violin lessons from a most precious teacher.  One of the things I did this morning to prepare for my lesson, was tune a second violin I purchased from Amazon for under $50 (including shipping and handling) so that I may begin teaching others one day. 

When I first ordered it, I hoped it would be a full violin, with a bow and a case....but doubt filled my mind.  A Barbie sized violin was what I thought I would recieve.  Yet to my amazement, I was blessed with beauty, held securely in a distinguished looking black zipper case.  It also included a bow too!!

However, when I set the adult-sized violin to my shoulder to pull the horsehair across the strings....YUCK!!!  EWWWWEEE!!  Nothing but pain poured out!!  Automatically I felt like I was ripped off!!  No wonder it was so cheap!!

Still, I would take it to my teacher and see what he thought.

The first week I showed it to him, I told him I thought the strings were all G or D...because they were all so low after I tried tuning it.  He looked it over carefully, tuning it by plucking the strings to his and adjusting the knobs, admiring the finish....noting that it was such a fine instrument.  He warned me to be patient and keep tuning it, as it will take some time for the strings to stretch into place.

Reluctantly I did as he asked, tuning it to my violin which I tuned with a pitch pipe.  Yet, I wouldn't play the new one, until last night and this morning.  I didn't want to hear that aweful sound again!!!   though when I did play last night....it sounded pleasant.  So again this morning I practiced my lesson with it...along with the Christmas music (It's time to start practicing....Christmas will be here sooner than I think!). 

I determined that I wouldn't even take out my violin in the classroom (but I took it with me just in case...pardon the pun)...so this violin would continue being conditioned.  Again my dear teacher tuned my violin and gushed compliments on this new violin...happy he would get to hear it's sound.  When I told him that this violin has a sort of "hollow" sound to it...he tenderly said that each violin has it's own sound. No...I didn't waste my money.

In the same way, I have high expectations of myself.  I won't like how something turned out...."if I only did this", or "I should have done that".  I compare myself to others; they look this way, they act that way...they can do this...I don't know how to do that. But God sees my beauty, He hears my heart. I need to ignore the voice of negativity...the enemy of my soul. I have my own "sound" and the Music Teacher loves hearing it.  He didn't waste His "money".

Bungie Jumping

Some time ago my husband and I were in Lowes looking in the bird feeder section for a device that feeds squirrels.  My parents used to have one on their tree to where my dad would put walnuts on it and corn cobs too.  It was wonderful watching them feed....so we were looking for something like that.

What we found was a rectangular "granola bar" cube sealed in a cellophane wrapper. Attatched to this large feeding treat was a chain and a bungie chord covered with a material (probably to keep the little critters from pinching their toes) and a hook.  We bought one, imagining what it would look like when the squirrels would leap to the bar, swinging as they ate.

At home, we attached it to a shepherd's hook, but the chain was too long.  So we shortened it, still leaving the bungie part.  A couple of days later, the sqirrels were seen scampering up and down the tree to the pole...even leaping from bird feeder to bird feeder to get to the block of seed.  The block disappeard in a couple of days.  So we added more...and they disappeard quicker each time.

The squirrels soon figured out that if they positioned themselves on the shepherds hook just so, they could get the seed loaf to swing to them...thus giving the squirrel very little challenge.

Lately I had my boys move the bungie chord to where the chain wrapped around a large branch......after all, it was a bungie chord....not a buffet table.   For a long time, the fresh seed loaf was left alone.

I worried that I had my boys move it too far away...I worried about the animals starving.  But my son told me that when they get hungry enough, they'll figure it out.

Then as I walked from my house to my car, I heard angry chattering from the squirrels...as if they were telling me to move it back....still I ignored them trusting what my son had said.

About a week later I noticed some of the loaf was missing, but figured it was the birds that I saw fly to it from time to time.

Then...sure enough...I spotted this little squirrel leap from the tree to the loaf...the rectangular shape swinging back and forth as it held on momentarily to grab what it could...then this tiny rodent jumped back to the tree ...as if to take a rest then repeated the process.

I understand more why campers are to tie their food WAY UP in a tree from larger wild animals....this tiny squirrel of mine figured out the puzzle.

In the same way.....the disciples when they were with Jesus....they were treated to everything He gave.  They watched Him perform miracles, they heard Him speak with Authority to the Pharisees, they felt Him calm storms and they spoke when He asked them to speak when they were instructed to go out to others.  It must have been most awesome "feasting" on Life!

But then Jesus was crucified and three day's later He rose again.....then ascended into Heaven. If I may, the disciples "bungie loaf" was moved.  Just like there was no sound when I had the "bungie loaf" moved for the squirrels....I'm sure the disciples were even more confused than the squirrels.  I'm sure they even voiced their opinions to God in prayer just as the squirrels chattered away...as if to tell me to move it back so they could eat once again.

But then, after time passed, the Holy Spirit was given to the disciples (and others in the upper room) just as the Jesus promised because of their patience....and once again, they were being fed...being encouraged.

I must stop and ask myself....am I going to waste time complaining about not being comfortable, or am I going to be patient and wait for God to show me how to grow...knowing He will supply all my needs.

As I described in my earlier post...there were two dishes I dearly loved, that became almost glued together when the large ceramic coffee cup was placed in the 4 cup measuring cup during my time of washing dishes. 

For nothing at all would they separate...everything I tried wouldn't work.  I thought for sure the coffee cup would end up getting smashed so that I could use the 4 cup coffee cup.

But I hung on to them....thinking they would be a great object lesson when teaching.

Today, I was doing dishes and noticed the two "glued" dishes sitting by the window while I was running the garbage disposal.  I picked them up, while the garbage disposal was running....which was doing nothing, except vibrating the sink.  The coffee cup teetered in the measuring cup!!!  OH!!  With just a little bit of wiggling and jiggling the two pieces....the coffee cup and the measuring cup separated!!  Their "world" was being moved, so they were forced to change.

YES!!!!!  Now I can use both of them...and the other large coffee cup has a twin (something for my hubby and I to use :)  I couldn't stop singing and dancing about the kitchen for a while because I was soooo estatic that niether had to be shattered!

In the same way...like I wrote about Facebook in the last post....It was necessary for Facebook and I to be separated...I thought one of us would be shattered...and in my sillyness...I thought it would be me...because I sooo LOVE the people on there and what Facebook provides. 

It was unhealthy in the way I was using Facebook.  Kind of as if I was setting that coffee mug within my measuring cup....I allowed Facebook to consume most of my heart. Nothing else got much of my time. 

Our "worlds" were moved (like the vibration of the garbage disposal) through that virus (mentioned in the last blog post).  I could go back, but there is a saying "Insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results".

Facebook and I are still separated.....I am filling the "void" with necessary things like housework and studying.  My email account is a means of communication, just as is the telephone, snail mail....and of course, face to face :)

Facebook is still meeting the needs and wants of so many....and will continue to do so.

My life will continue to have "garbage disposal" moments.....the question is how will I respond when I feel the vibration?

The other day I was doing dishes and happen to set a favorite large coffee cup in a 4 cup measuring cup in a sink full of bubbley water.  When I went to wash this coffee cup, it wouldn't separate from the measuring cup. Pulling, pushing, twisting, jiggling.....adding soap to the areas of contact...nothing.  Right now they are still firmly secured together next to my sink, in hopes that some moment they will decide to separate so that I may use them for their intention.


Yet, I'm afraid one may have to be shattered for me to use the other. My choice would be the measuring cup, becasue I need to use it.  The coffee cup is large....I LOVE  large coffee cups....but, I do have other coffee cups....and I only have coffee once in a while.


In the same way...there are things that I LOVE such as Facebook.  I used to be on there SO MUCH, it was an addiction.  Like the coffee cup and measuring cup...I am a wonderful individual and Facebook is an awesome means of communication.....but I was spending too much time on there.  Many times I've tried to break away from it....to give myself balance...so I could do the things that were necessary,but I always found myself glued to searching out what's going on in those I love lives. Until here recently......


I foolishly opened an email from a friend whom I"m sure wasn't a part of it...but someone hacked into his file and sent me this .....grrrr.....email. The title included something about blogging and I thought that since I posted my blog online, he read it and was posting his for me to read.  NOPE!  My computer went haywire!!! UGH!! And it started sending messages to everyone in my facebook address book!!!


So...because of  this horrible virus and other small viruses and glitches that my computer has obtained through my EXTREME attachment to Facebook....though I love Facebook...and moreso the beautiful lives on Facebook...I am allowing this means of communication to be removed from my life....a "shattering" if I may....so that I may be used by God to my fullest potential.


It's been difficult. At first I was BORED literally to tears and momentary grumbling....but now that it's been a little while....I'm actually enjoying the peace.  Things are getting done too.

"BEEP!! BEEP!! BEEP!! BEEP!!....."

"BEEP!! BEEP!! BEEP!! BEEP!! BEEP!! BEEP!! BEEP!! BEEP!! BEEP!! BEEP!!"  I remember hearing that most irritating, shrill "emergency" call of my alarm clock at a crucial point in the dream I was soooo enjoying.  I don't know if it were me in the dream, or just me who sighed a sigh of "UGH"ness.....

Still I climbed out of my comfyness...after controlling myself as I "carefully" hit the "dismiss" button on my phone...it's my faithful alarm..needed to keep it for the next day.  I wanted to reset my alarm, so I could hopefully go back to that specific dream....but I knew if I did, I would be late....and...I probably wouldn't have that dream again....or who knows?

But, as much as I loved the dream I was having....I so much prefer being wide awake...taking life however it comes at me.....even if there are trials...Because it's living LIFE, and I praise God for this LIFE He's given me....given each one of us.

In the same way....there are times I have heard the Holy Spirit's Alarm Clock going off.....right when I'm in the middle of a dream......everything is going well...I know how to do what I'm doing.....but there's something that my Father wants me to wake up and do.....calling me to the Job He has for me....no...it does no good just laying in bed....

More than Blue Jeans

I have always wanted to be an exceptinal chef...to have meals dreamed about then melt in the mouth after eating.  After all, it's in my family genes.  Many times people would gather at my grandparents house, awaiting the delicacies for any meal.  And there was always enough.  My mom inherited these qualities from her mom.....How I long for one of my mom's home cooked meals!!

With me....I've learned to say that that if I've gotten the recipe from a dear friend....then it would be a meal that would be gobbled up in a hurry.  And understandably so because almost all my friends and family all KNOW how to cook....me...I'm still learning, after ....so many years :)

But today, we sat down to a casserole that I didn't say where it came from.....for a few days now I had been wondering what to do with all the potatoes we'd been given.  I give God the credit for this one :) 

Each red potato I cut up in quarters then sliced them 4-6 times.....I probably used 10 smaller ones?
Oh...I boiled 9 chicken thighs....but only shredded 5...in case I needed a back up plan :)
I put the potatoes in an extra light olive oiled 9x13...
About less then half of a white onion was diced up and added...
A can of corn and a can of green beans went in next....
With 2 cans of cream of mushroom soup (different brands ...one was campbell's garlic and mushroom) I mixed the chicken and a little bit of chicken seasoning...it's like the grill mates brand...
Before smearing the chicken soup mix all over what was in the 9 x 13...I sprinkled a little more than half a cup of minute rice into the pan evenly.
After evenly spreading the chicken mix...I then laid slices of American cheese over the top...covering everything....
Then...if in case this is important....it sat overnight until after church...then went in the oven at 350 for 1 hour and 20 minutes.....

Ohhhhh it was so good!!  And everyone says that I can definately make this again :)

Woo hoo!!!

In the same way....I see so many Christians who are excellent role models.  I so long to be one too!  And following their example has helped me to grow....yet there have been times...just like with cooking, where the formula just isn't working....and it ends up not being the best....and that's ok...

Yet God doesn't want me focusing on formula....he wants me focusing on my relationship...what I know...using what He's taught me to live my life....and eventually this recipe will be breath-taking!!

Memorization

From the time I was in 4th grade until shortly after high school, I took violin lessons.  I drempt of being in the symphony.....But when I graduated....I felt I didn't have to play anymore, so I quit taking lessons.

Yet, when I would hear music being played....I could see how the notes were played and I began to crave playing once again.

After many, many years later, I've started taking lesssons, which I so dearly love!  My teacher is a precious, patient individual who is always challenging me. 

Since my lessons have begun, my collection of music has grown and my bag is about to bust at the seams....not to mention...it's quite HEAVY!!!! UGH! To carry it around increases my load....so I have decided to attempt to memorize the music. It's the only way to lighten my load. 

My teacher, my mentor, has memorized his music too.  He plays with such delight and his notes speak volumes to me.

In the same way......I am attempting to memorize Scripture so that as I live my life...His notes will speak volumes....Can you hear the Music?

Settings Been Changed

Gasp!  It's been a while since I posted...what do I do?  This beautiful layout for this blog site has a font that's a color that's hard to read?  How do I change it?  I've tried many different ways...but I don't have the answer. 

Still I love the changes that have been made....the swooshing stream of water through the bright field of grass...oh!  A definite picture of change!  It's so refreshing!!  Where does the stream lead? 

Where will my life go?  What plans does my Creator have for me?  Like this blog....I'll have to wait for His Direction <3

Oh how today is a beautiful day!! I thank God for all that He blesses me with, including the trials for that is where my faith is tested.

In previous blogs I've talked about how I've been my own doctor...taking too many Ibuprophen, acenaminiphrin or Excedrin to relieve my migraines or back pain...only visiting the doctor when I absolutely had to. That way seemed to work for the time that it did...but through time....because I couldn't see what was actually happening within my body...I'm facing my consequences now.

One of which I've been schedueled for a stress test last friday.

A dear friend of mine asked me if I would like her to go along....she must have sensed my fear of going alone....a fear I'm trying to overcome....and I hesitated, because I knew it was going to be early in the morning, and she's a very busy...so I declined. Very warmly she told me that she would love to go if I changed my mind. Which I did, for God showed me how comforting it would be to have her there...even just in the waiting room, praying.

So, I arrived at the hospital a bit earlier than she did...and checked in. The receptionist tried to show me where to wait, but I insisted on waiting for my dear friend....my nerves were bouncing...usually I'm one to follow rules...but I was delighted my friend was going to be here so I sat in the front lobby for just a few moments until she walked through the front doors.

My fears disappeared as we walked back to the room the receptionist guided us to. It was so delightful talking with her! Little did I remember that I was in a hospital. Soon, a person called my name and I followed them to prepare for the first part of the stress test: the treadmill.

After the first part was done....my friend and I chatted some more then went our seperate ways throughout the rest of the day.

For the second part which was yesterday, I invited my hubby, since he had the day off. He helped take my thoughts away from my hunger as I needed to fast until the early afternoon when the second part of the stress test was.

I am so thankful these two precious beings were able to go with me to the doctor!

In the same way.....for the longest time I would try to heal myself spiritually....snatching a verse here....saying a prayer there....but never really setting up an appointment with The Doctor. And again, I could never see what was about to happen...and by the time I was "hit" with life....I was too crushed to know what to do....

I would hear different messages calling me to draw closer to God, the Ultimate Physician....but busyness...and whatever else....kept me away from making those "appointments with God".

Then a dear friend told me there was a group of people meeting for prayers on Mondays....praying for an hour each Monday. OH!! How refreshing!! And it's at 6:30 am....I could be there!!! "Please God, help me to be there!!" I prayed. And just like those individuals who helped me go to my stress test, these individuals at the prayer meeting God worked through to help me establish a pattern of meeting with my Savior...my Healer...My Lord.

Things may not go as I plan them to go, but I am given the strength,peace and wisdom, along with so much more to go through the storms of life...

Today I had the priveledge of watching a performance of one large group of children on stage, who were divided into two smaller groups. The older group followed the instructions of the director to stand to the left of the stage. Yet the younger group just stood on stage...possibly full of stage fright as they were instructed to move to the right of the stage. The director gentlely called the children over to the right of the stage again....still no movement as tiny faces just stared at the crowd, huddling together.

As chuckles broke out throug the audience, the older children raised their voices to help the younger children, "Go". Still, no response.

The director bribed them with a bag of M&Ms that was part of the skit....but nothing moved this flock of children.

Suddenly, one of the mom's of these young children rushes up on stage and gently takes hold of one child's hand and wraps her arm around another as she herds them carefully to the right of the stage, as the audience laughs. And the play continues on with all eyes alert and focused :)

In the same way there are times in my "stage" of life where a decission I'm faced with is overwhelming. I hear the "sheet music" of what I am to do and I've been "presenting" beautifully up until that moment....music fills the air....but somehow I notice everyone's watching....and what if I make a mistake? And the room goes silent. Perhaps, like those young children, it's something I've forgotten or never done before. So I'm frozen in fear.

Many try to help and tell me what to do....perhaps because they've "been there, done that", that they think just a little coaxing is all it takes , or they think just a few words of "advice" will get me "playing" again. Sometimes that is the answer...sometimes.

But when I am stuck in fear....hearing "doubt" trap me even more.....sometimes I need to feel God's gentle hand in mine or His warm touch upon my back guiding to where I am to be...then I can "play" beside Him once again to the song He's written for my life......

Last thursday after lunch, a friend invited me to join her and her friend in an aerobic workout. I thought it would be fun to start a routine with such encouraging friends. Visions of myself being a perfect example of what workout videos are made of flashed through my head.

Yet, somewhere between lunch and her house, I became distracted and worked on writing instead.

"Come join us!" My friend cheerfully chirped as she moved in ways I knew I couldn't at this point in time.

Still I stood up and walked over, cautiously observing what I would be attempting. Knees up to my elbows...got it. As I brought my knee up as far as I could...I noticed my friends had already accomplished five of them. Still I pressed on, giggling in embarrassment. Again I brought my knee up as high as I could...but stumbled as I tried to meet it to my elbow. Quickly I went back to my writing and told them I will "pass" until another day.

But that evening, I was determined to become healthier. My hubby and I picked up a pedometer and some jogging clothes (used for walking at this point in time) along with a ball pump to resize my core ball. Already I have walked several thousands of steps and am making healthier choices in what I am eating. Even the scale is being agreeable at this point.

I am so thankful for my encouraging friends! I may not be where they are right now...but we can grow healthier together.

In the same way, God's calling me to Him...to become healthier. If I listen to Him and do the exercizes...when trials come in life...I will be stronger for them, because He's shown me how to be strong.

It's easy to fall off track whatever the cause.....but just as I take the steps to get off track...I can take the steps to get back on....I guard what is most precious to me......

The other day I asked my friend if she knew anything about lip waxing. I had been noticing tiny, unwelcome hairs accenting my upper lip; desiring to be a beautiful woman of God, I asked my friend the above question to which her reply was, "Sure! I've used NADS Wax Strips." And continued on, telling me where I could get this product.

After arriving 3 minutes before the store closed, I went to ask the cashier if she knew where the lip waxing products were...being sure of not mentioning the name NADS, that my friend told me, incase she decided to play her first ever practical joke on me (Who would choose the vulgar name NADS?)

When I arrived at the isle to where I was sent, I searched directly before me for this product NADS, only to find other products. Right when I began to feel like I was set up on a joke, I looked down at the shelves below. There it was to my lower left-NADS.

Not caring about its name any longer, I quickly scooped up one box and pondered grabbing more. Visions of beauty ran through my mind: classical music playing as I sat in a room filled with light as butterflies floated and flowers blossomed...while I carefreely pulled the wax strip from my lip. After locating a large mirror and some tweezers, I paid for my items and read the directions over several times on the way home - being sure I knew what I was doing.

Soon the wax strip was heated and peeled apart. I placed the sticky yelllow strip across my lip and ran my fingers across the wax paper to ensure that all the hairs would be pulled.

There was no classical music playing, no butterflies or flowers. The only thing close to my vision was that the light was on. In eager anticipation I ripped the wax away from my face, feeling the wind being sucked out of me as loud noise rushed out of my mouth, "OOOOOoouuuUUUCHHHHH!!!!!!!! It hurt so bad, I almost didn't know what happened. Still I had to repeat the process as the wax strips weren't long enough for my mouth. Again it hurt, but I think not as much since I knew what to expect.

There was a thick layer of wax remaining across my upper lip that I tried to scrub off.....even after I used my facial scrub product, it didn't feel like any wax was removed. UGH!!!! What did others do to remove this "stain"?

As I stared at myself in the mirror to evaluate my consequences, I vowed I would never do this again. My upper lip was pink and slighty swollen. But hopefully this would all be gone in the morning, especially after a shower.

Nope...it was worse...as the waxy layer was still there...along with several tiny pimples all across my upper lip. Even with loads of foundation and powder, I couldnt' hide my mistake.

In the same way, I have to be careful with the choices I make as I draw closer in my walk with Christ. If God is guiding me one way.....I shouldn't listen to anyone other than Christ. What is right for others, isn't necessisarily right for me. I have to constantly keep my gaze on Jesus, not myself.....or anyone else....or I may end up feeling pain far greater than wax being ripped off my lip, consequences that stay longer than the residue on my lip, and uglier than zits that dot my upper lip. If my focus doesn't stay on Christ, I may end up with a wound that eats away at my soul.

But praise God for tweezers!!

And I am thankful that God knows what is needed to create beauty within and out....He may not use tweezers.....yet .....after all, He created the heavens and the earth. Let everything that has breath praise the Lord!!

Today I had the priveledge of watching a dear friend learn golf. The grey cloudy sky spit down drops of rain as the wind blew my hair in all directions. Still that didn't stop the eager students or their faithful teachers.

The tiny white balls were tapped and hit across the green grass, missing the deep blue plastic kiddy pool by inches...sometimes yards. Still the enthusiasm from these young golfers was infecting! I found myself watching the balls, praying they would head in the right direction.

It was refreshing seeing the golf coaches come along side the students and tutor...standing with them, observing their posture with the angles at which they struck the ball. Then with gentle guidance, these instructors would offer advice, and soon the golfers aim improved.

...Yet, I couldn't help noticing one of the instructors walk from child to child, spending just enough time and then moving on. The expression on his face, his body language said that he couldn't wait until the end of the day. I wondered if the "future golfers" saw what I saw.

How thankful was I wnen this teacher was called away. I assumed someone else saw what I did. I didn't watch where he went. I kept my focus on my friend as he kept swinging away at the ball.
Soon it was time to relocate to another "green". To my surprise, this teacher who was called away, was standing on the green as we arrived. Several tiny flags planted before holes surrounded him. He directed the students where they were to stand.

Again, I focused my sights on my friend, who kept trying over and over...each time the ball wizzed by the hole. But when my focus was pinpointed and everything was quiet...BING!! It goes in! He putted a Hole in One!

"YES!!" I exclaim, throwing up my arms and pulling them back as I jumped just a titch. It was when every head turned and faced me that I realized I might be too loud....he he he.

In the same way I've had days to where the "Sky" is overcast...when everything seems to be going wrong...problems just spit down upon me and the winds of discouragement try to knock me over.
Still I keep swinging...

I am so thankful for those out there "cheering" me on...encouraging me not to give up...to press in and keep trying.

Jesus is the loudest of my "cheerleaders"...making heads turn. He's not ashamed to tell someone they are doing a great job...no matter the volume. Peer pressure doesn't keep Him from speaking His Words.

May we all be encouraging one another to be strong and to hold on......

This morning I carried my violin, music stand and books with me as I went to church to do final touch ups on the tree for the awesome play our pastor was blessed to write. If there was no one around the church.....which normally at 9 am there is....I would practice.

What laughter sprang from within as the parking lot was empty! Quickly I hurried in, set up, tuned my violin and rosined the bow. Soon I had the books open and was pulling the bow across the strings. But several times I stopped and retuned my violin.

For a brief moment one of the songs I had been practicing had sounded like I had been practicing for a lot longer. Oh the joys of perserverance and the blessings of God!!! So I moved on to another song...which is one of my classical favorites!

Yet for some reason, I kept stumbling. Perhaps it was because I was tired....maybe it was because it was set at a faster tempo....still I stumbled along. There was one point I arrived in the song...toward the end...to where I said out loud "Lord, I just can't do this anymore!"

Without missing a beat I heard Him reassuring me that I will make it through to the end, that I needed to just keep playing. And He was right. There was a time when I knew nothing about the violin...but with lessons and practicing...PRAISE GOD! I will make it to the end of many more songs!

In the same way God leads me to new areas in my life that He wants me to work on. There are times I am embarrassed because what He gives me is new...or perhaps I know the song, but I've forgotten the notes...and anyway...what will others think? Still, I hear Him calling me to "Play".

People are watching....maybe one day they will join me....or maybe they will just watch and listen. But still they are waiting to see what note will be played next....how it will be played...if it will be played at all.

God has given me music to play...a song that lasts a lifetime. As I practice this song, preparing to play for my King in Heaven one day....I will stumble and make mistakes. I have told my Creator many years ago that I can't do it anymore. But my Savior is always there! He lifted me back up and set me on firm ground. He has given me rest. In Him I find my Strength.....He shall play His Song through me....His instrument.

Today was another day to work on the tree for the upcoming play that our pastor wrote. One of my jobs was to get drinks for everyone on this very hot day.

Funny thing how I have traveled this road many times, I thought I could amost drive it blindfolded. Yet at that very moment I was proven wrong.

My car was headed down the usual path when I was deep in thought....suddenly I recognized the trees and buildings....and the stop sign. I had gone a couple of blocks past my turn! UGH! Fortunately it was a simple turn around and I was heading back to my intended destination for chilled drinks. Everyone was so thankful for the cool, refreshing beverage!

In the same way, I am heading down a narrow path. Where are my thoughts? Will they take me down a different direction.....and how soon will it be before I noticed how far I've gotten?

There are so many distractions and temptations that vie for my attention. People are watching me, waiting for each "cool and refreshing drink" that I bring as I follow Christ along His Path...walking in obedience. It is my prayer that I keep my focus on Jesus and my ears in tune to His Voice...for it is only He that knows the way....it is only He that will keep me safe....

Lately I am involved in helping create a hugemongous tree for an upcoming play.

This last Friday some friends and I spent wrapping strategically set tomato cages in newspaper and tape…preparing them for the next step of paper mache. Carefully we laid pieces down because they were just too big…and weren’t secure in their spot, stretching ourselves to reach every spot…being so gentle as to not put a hole through the thin paper and have to start over.

Then the process of paper mache began. With our arms in a 5 gallon bucket after the liquid was mixed, we dunked pieces of newspaper deep within this adhesive and then out, slopping goop everywhere…wiping our hands on our pants and shirts…..as we stepped through puddles of goop. It was one big mess!! It seemed like forever getting things cleaned up and ready for the Sunday Service….

But the following day, phase one of this project looked really cool up on stage…and people were so excited and curious as to what was going on.

In the same way…..we are like this tree. God is preparing us for something spectacular!

I know He’s had to bend me and move me in ways I didn’t want to go….if only I was an inanimate object, then it would be easier on Him! But I believe there are times…more than not….to where my pride is more hugemongous than this tree. Yet nothing is impossible for God…He’s right there reaching and stretching so to cover a multitude of sin…..

Christ isn’t afraid to get dirty….to step in all the stuff that goes in and what must come out….He is eagerly awaiting the final outcome with great anticipation as He marvels at each step of our lives. And when life punches a hole in His project….He dips His hands in the goop and repairs….letting things dry before the next step....

This morning I was on my way to a destination and I came upon a red light. While I waited I checked my rear view mirror to see how my hair looked and if I had too much powder on. I took a kleenex and gentley wiped my face....

As I was setting the kleenex down, I heard this loud, strange noise...almost like a fog horn, I've never heard before. I was already past the train tracks....I looked all around me for this strange noise. It was when I looked again in the rear view mirror that I saw this humongous semi right behind me. Glancing forward I looked at the green arrow...now accompanied by a green light. How long had I been sitting here?

In the same way there are times in my Spiritual life that I get distracted with a variety of things...especially life's "mirror" thinking, "this will just take a moment". But in reality, it takes much longer than I anticipated and I find myself adding on more things to do, while I'm waiting.....leading me way off track.

But thankfully, God's vehicle is so much larger than the semi that was behind me and He's there in my view.....I praise God that He isn't afraid to give me that "wake up" call...to get me moving on the right path once again....

Many years ago in high school, my dad was driving us home from a game. My window was down so I could enjoy the wind rushing through.

Off to the right, a car full of boys kept pace with my dad's car. The boys inside flipped us off.

I was upset and wanted revenge......but had to find a way that my Dad wouldn't see me. I hung on to the upper frame of the door and returned the "favor", which only inticed them to continue sharing the "universal sign".

By now, my Dad had seen them. He was very upset. Still I continued to hold my middle finger up...out of my Dad's sight.

And the boys continued to give us the "bird".

Well, my dad followed this car full of boys to their final destination. He got out of the car and demanded to speak to their father.

Soon everyone was standing in a circle as my Dad, his face now red, argued with a raised voice with their father. "My daughter would never do anything like that!"

Finally "Just ask her" was insisted.

My Daddy turned to me, looking deep within my eyes and asked me "Did you flip these boys off?"

My dad had been in fights before, so I knew that he would possibly be in another one, depending on my answer.

"Yes, I did."

"What?" He barely whispered.

See, lying always seemed to help me out of spot...at least I thought....but was I going to let my Daddy suffer at my expense? So I forced the words out, "Yes, I did."

My Daddy's face went white, as he took a deep swallow and apologized.

On the way home, he told me how proud he was of me for telling the truth. And from that moment on I have rememberd that...I am so blessed to have learned that lesson.

In the same way...our Creator is leading us Home. There will be those temptations to the side that will pull us away...distract us from fellowshipping with our Father. Those temptations will lure us into behaving in a way that God never intended....lead us away from who we really are. Our focus is turned to the distraction.....dealing with it ourselves...when our Father is right there with us.

God will hold us accountable....He wants to defend us, but it is only when we speak the TRUTH that He can really help us. It is when we know the TRUTH and speak it with our Father that we will grow and mature.

As I am on my way Home with my Father...enjoying the mighty rushing Wind...I am so thankful for that life lesson my Daddy taught me many years ago...

This morning I was reminded of when I was a teenager, of how I would enjoy a rainy day. I would open my mom and dad's window and turn the classical music station on. Their bed was in the corner up against the wall that had the window that I opened...so it was a treat to lay at the foot of the bed and enjoy the view.
The rain would fall almost rhythmically along with the music...Sometimes the clash of thunder would demand to be heard....but I was never afraid. The smell of the earth-scented drops, the splashing of the puddles as people and cars moved through them, and the brightness of everything being washed.....brought a peace to my being.
But today, I found myself wondering why I don't have the same curiosity for the storms of life. Is it that I don't get to lay back and watch it all happen....that I now have to be "out in the storms"?
Oh that I may again rejoice at the falling rain....may I learn to dance in the rain and sing with the robins....for soon everything will be as if it were a new start.....may the tears from the pain give me a new angle at which I see things...may I see them as God sees them looking at me through His "window".....may I take delight and be thankful for the life I have been so blessed with!
Tomorrow is a new day and storms are just passing through, but the sun/Son is always there...

When I was a little girl, my grandma worked at a place that made hair decorations of all kinds. Each time she would visit us, she would bring us a bunch that we could add to our collection that added to our fun.

My dad would take naps on the couch and my sister and I would take advantage of this golden opportunity. As he lay sleeping, we would fill his hair up with all kinds of "pretties", carefully watching for the moment he would wake up. And soon he would wake up and chase us through the house as we would run away screaming.

In the same way God is working on our lives, chipping away at what shouldn't be there and adding what should be. He desires us to chase Him, except He's standing firmly still, with His arms stretched wide open to catch us. Our Creator longs to spend time with us getting to know us....listening to us, waiting for us to wake up and run toward Him.

I have been dealing with back pain for about 20 years now.....it started when I slipped and fell against the bathtub, injuring my tailbone in the process. Through the years as it's worsened with lifting and moving things, I've taken it upon myself to become my own doctor...to get rid of the pain. So I started out increasing the Ibuprophen I was taking...and the pain would go away, for a time.

But then it would return...and I would gradually increase the dose. Sure enough....the pain would go away.....and sure enough it would return. I increased the frequency of taking so many pills, because I thought that I couldn't take anymore at one time...so I just wait some time and take some more. I even switched to Excedrin. I wanted the pain to be gone...and I wanted a simple, easy solution.

This carried on just until here recently.....because the "warning signs" of headaches/migraines, chest pains, stomache upset (most of the time) among so many other things...they were beginning to scare me. I didn't want to live like this anymore.

There had to be a better solution to pain management than what I was doing. There was. I just had to listen, trust and follow the rules. I needed to let the doctors know when I was in pain....I needed to do the stretches to work through the pain...no matter how tedious and boring I felt it was.

I am now seeing the doctor and haven't been taking any Ibuprophen or Excedrin since the end of January. Yes, I do have back pain....the stretches that I was shown help so much. And I don't feel like I'm in a fog....I am actually LIVING life for once.

I share this story because I know there are so many people out there with pain....greater than mine...or not. You want it to go away.

This back pain of mine will always be here to some degree because of an accident I couldn't control. Yet, I am thankful for it because it has put me in a place to trust someone other than myself....to trust the One Who created me....Who knows me far better than I know myself...and for that I would never trade this pain as long as it keeps me close to Christ...

Yellow Lights

The other day I was going home and was coming upon an intersection that had its light just turn yellow. I was thinking that I would easily whip around the corner before it turned red. The only problem was that there was another car in front of me who came to a stop.

Thoughts filled my mind as to why this driver was stopping...what was wrong? Clearly she could have made the turn easily...and then I could have too. UGH!! Why?!

Here's the answer: The driver was adhering to the warning signs to avoid danger or death in the drivers life.

Quickly God pointed out the parallel with this in my life. How do I handle Spiritual warning signs? Am I thankful for them? Or do I just make my own set of rules and hope for the best....not knowing what's waiting around the corner? Am I going to watch the warning signs and apply them, or am I going to blame others that I couldn't make the "turn"? Who will I blame if I were in an "accident" injuring many lives...not just my own?

I praise God for the warning signs in front of me!!

Today the mailman delivered violin books....one including, "Violin for Dummies". Quickly I tore open the box and flipped through the pages...thinking back to when I used to play many years ago. From the fourth grade through graduation I took lessons and had aspirations of playing in a symphony.

Yet after graduation, I found distractions that made it more and more difficult to practice and soon, I didn't want to play anymore. However, each time I heard classical music...whether in a store, on t.v., or elsewhere....I could imagine myself playing my violin.

And a few days ago I ordered a few books to get me back on track of playing. I may never play in a symphony....but I can play for the One who made me.

Yet, I still have those distractions today...my cat bumping my arm. After telling her no a few times, I decided it would be best if I just stood up...and sure enough she went into the other room.

I find it's that way in my walk with Christ...when I get too busy..He has a way of making Himself known in His own unique way....reminding me of how it is when I spend time with the King of Kings.

And there may be trials that will try to stop me from drawing close to our Creator. Yet, I shall not give up...but stand up instead.....

I am sitting here at my laptop feeling drained and clammy....though very thankful, because just a few hours ago I was so very sick. My head was swollen and pounding...my body had just finished throwing up for the...I don't know how many times.

It all started early this morning with a migraine; most likely the result of not getting enough rest or water. Still I continued through my routine, because normally they go away after I'm up for a bit.

How difficult it was driving....as I went about my morning routine...this headache was growing into a migraine! I felt like throwing up. So when I got home, I snuggled deep within my covers, after taking the first two pills of this new migraine medicine the doctor prescribed to me. An hour later, when my migraine had worsened, I took another pill...as prescribed. Still my head throbbed away.

I surrounded my skull with ice packs and laid there waiting...sleeping and waiting. Still another hour passed by and my head still throbbed. Atop my head was a huge bump that was trying to grow. I took another red pill...again, following the prescription and laid down again.

By now I was very groggy. Though I was tired....it was difficult to sleep with my head hurting...so an hour later, I take the final pill...wondering when this pain would go away.

Suddenly, I had to throw up. Oh, I was so very sick. I thought that was the end of it...but I continued to throw up the rest of the day and evening....then, I fell into a deep sleep.

I awoke to my phone ringing....which normally when I am trying to sleep, would bug me. Yet as I answered the phone, I noticed my migraine was all but gone and I didn't feel one bit like throwing up. Praise God!

Thinking back to many years ago....I remember being "sick" as a result of the choices I had made. My life had turned to one huge "migraine". Everything seemed to "hurt" and it was difficult to see the blessings I had because of the pain my whole life was in.

Many times I would "throw up" my story to anyone who would hear....because I wanted answers on how to be healthy.

It wasn't until I started reading God's Word and applying what I was reading, that I began to find relief. Yet Christ's healing came at a price. I would have to let go of the poor choices I was making and listen and do as the Holy Spirit guided.

Today, I still have trials....but my "Immune System" is now strong enough to ward off whatever comes my way...praise be to God. But I must remember to take care of myself through reading my Bible, praying, singing praise, keeping accountable by attending church.

I am so thankful that Christ never leaves me alone. The Bible says so in Deuteronomy 31:6 and Hebrews 13:5. I praise God that He is my Healer!

Today I had an appointment with the Health and Wellness Center. I was some what dreading going there....I knew I would be sitting and listen to someone talk about healthy habits.

Most of my body has been cheering me on about going because my body doesn't like the things that my taste buds do. My body wants a change.

There was another individual there for the class too, so I wasn't alone in this class. However, I wondered if he really wanted to be there too.

So with all the aboved mentioned....I was surpised as my mouth betrayed my tastebuds and volunteered me to go back.....my mouth said something about needing accountability or that I wouldn't be able to do this. My mouth also asked to speak with the fitness counselor too the day I go back.

Much of me is pouting within....knowing that it's going to take work to get and stay healthy....but I feel relief washing over me because it's a new start. God helped me lose the weight before, He will help me lose it again...and even more.....He knows I need Him to get through this.

It's the same way with making time for Prayer and Bible Reading. There will be everything to try and stop me from doing so....pets, phone, etc. But when I continually press on and guard that time...God rewards my faithfullness and my heart. He makes me stronger and healthier for the trials through my day.

In the same way...as I exercize and eat healthier....I will have more strength and wisdom for the trials through the day.

I praise God He keeps me accountable....

I have often wondered how Jesus felt being in crowds....but today, I found a glimpse of the answer...

Today we went to Walmart to get a few groceries. Everyone must have had the same idea that we had as there was almost no room to walk.....much less to move a cart around. God made people so very precious....but when there's a multitude of people, it's easy for me to forget about others and go into "just get me out of here" mode. I felt so stressed as people were bumping into each other coming into the store and leaving....there were lines to leave that were clogging!! UGH!!!

But then...as God is so wonderful about doing...the Holy Spirit tapped me on the shoulder and had me look over at a woman walking very patientlly with a walker. She was limping as she clutched the handlebars and pushed forward. She too was here, in the crowd with me, at Walmart.

Suddenly all my stress was gone. How can I complain? Thank You Holy Spirit for redirecting my focus off of myself on to others...

I thank God for music. It's catchy. I find myself humming...even singing songs, and jingles I've heard from here or there. They can be annoying, because sometimes I get a song or jingle in my head that I've heard from somewhere and it just doesn't want to leave my thoughts. Then there's those songs I want to sing over and over and over again because they bring me joy and peace...or just make me want to dance (even if it's in my thoughts...because I'm in a place where I'm not allowed to dance...or I'm afraid to show the world my dance skills). There are those songs that leave me wanting more out of life, that gives me hope....I want my life to be like music...

It's amazing how much more we recieve when we sacrifice.
Each morning now, I've been getting up early to meet for prayer....and at first, I thought about how I HATED the alarm clock! Yet, because I have been faithful....God is filling this empty spot that was guarded for sleep...He is filling it with so much more than I can ever ask or think. I pray that it NEVER ceases....I want to grow and learn, not stagnate and die....until the next time....

People have asked me if I could have any choice in the world to live, where would that be? When I was a new follower of Christ, I would reply, "If it were possible to go back to Bible times, I would be there." I so wanted to be a part of what God was doing!

Yet this morning during worship, after spending most of yesterday learning how to reach out to people, then getting a chance to share my faith (something I have been longing to do for over 22 years, but was a prisoner to fear).....it was as if God tapped me on the shoulder, as I worshipped, and said "there's a garden around you...just like the Garden of Gethsemene where Jesus sought the Lord. You ARE in the Bible times. The Politics are the same....people are hungry just the same, and you have a responsibility just the same."

How encouraging that was to me! So many Followers of Christ have already been living in the Bible Times...yet, I've been spending all this time hiding in fear...almost like Peter, when he denied Jesus 3 times before the rooster crowed. But just like Peter, I am forgiven....I have a second chance to tell the world.....until next time....

What a beautiful day!!
My oldest son and I spent some time out in the yard....he raked, and I helped him put the leaves in bags.
Last year our yard was almost completely yellow....my sister has a special tool to pluck dandilions out....we now have one, so I pulled a few of them.
Then I planted the Tulips that I blogged earlier about. When I went to water them, there was a robin who stayed 2 feet away from me at all times. I was flattered :) It wasn't afraid of me. Some how it knew that I wasn't going to harm it...probably after putting up the bird feeders and the plants and having water out there....it probably sensed that I wasn't going to kill it after all that work. It may have also smelled the water and was sooo thirsty. Or it may have known that water softens the ground to make it more easy for the birds to find worms and other things that are in the ground. Again, I thought about the parallel in my life.
Just like the Robin, am I anxious to see what my Caregiver has for me? Am I excited about the things that God is bringing into my life so that I may be healthy? The wildlife has to endure all the weather that each day has.....and yet, it waits in excitement for the next meal....or oasis....it seems like they live in constant Praise :) A lesson for me to rememer....until next time....

Blogging.....
I was wondering where I should begin with this blog and I happen to notice that there are tulips in a round dirt pot on my table waiting to be planted. When my hubby and I bought them, they were just a bunch of leaves. Yet now, after a few days (due to colds and schedueling) they have now grown to reveal a bit of their true potential. These yellow tulips will be beautiful after I plant them and care for them, yet it got me to thinking....there's a parallel in my life with what I had just written.

What do I do when faced with challenges? It's amazing how God has created life....I need to continue to grow and "bloom" no matter where I am...what trials I am faced with....because the Son shines on me too...not just these tulips waiting to be planted.

Well, I better get out there and plant them....until next blog